so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
