adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I didn't notice because vodka
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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