we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
