So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
