her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sorry about my life...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
