He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
