Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
