yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
