Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
