i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You pole danced in your parka.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
