im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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