People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize