So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
