Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
