apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
