I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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