my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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