we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Two words: blizzard sex
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
