i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
