Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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