Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
