i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
