Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize