You're so nebulous sometimes
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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