Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
