that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
