every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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