I accidentally burped into my bong.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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