he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
