There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
