Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
