you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
