I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
