last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
