Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
