Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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