Me too!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
