I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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