The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
