everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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