Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize