Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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