Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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