I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
