Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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