so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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