she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
