All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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