Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
