im about as happy as oj after his trial
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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