That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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