So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
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Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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