There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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