oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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