8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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