Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
