can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
